Friday, December 11, 2009

Reflections on life...

So i was Stumbling across the Internet (using the firefox add-on Stumble Upon), and found a creative quote. "Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect. It means you have decided to look past the imperfections."

That simple statement says volumes in only 17 words. This concept it is talking about is the reason some couples stay married for 50+ years. This is why those people still hold hands when walking together. It is the reason some people blush at the mere mention of their significant other.

In my line of work, i come into contact with many geriatric couples who simply adore each other, even after being married for long times. Unfortunately, most of the time, one of the two is ill when i meet them. This is the easiest way to just see the love they have for each other. When you see one person devoting their life to care for the other, you see unconditional love in action. The person is looking past the problems, looking past the complications, and seeing the beauty in the other person.

In our sad society, the divorce rate is somewhere just over 50%. The people today apparently simply don't have the same feeling about love as they used to. The couples of today need to learn from the elder couples. So maybe you had a rough time, maybe there were arguements, maybe disagreements. In years past, the couples realized that you had to work in a relationship, that nothing came without effort on both parts. Today, it seems couples just assume that one argument, one fight, one rough time means it is time to throw in the towel. This should be the time that they hunker down fir the long haul. In wedding vows is the line "in good times and bad, through sickness and health". Has the meaning of this changed in the past 25 years? When my wife and I exchanged our vows, we did so with the honest expectation that it would mean we would still be married and in love when we were older. She teases me that she'll steal my dentures and run away when I try to get them back - but since I am older then her, she will get away easier! Now we just celebrated our two year anniversary in November. There have been some rough spots already, but we worked through them. We both learned from the great examples in our lives. Both sets of parents have been married 35 plus, and our grandparents were all married 50+ years before any of them passed away. We realize we are blessed to have those examples in our lives, but we also realize that they were not perfect. Everyone had to work their fair share in those marriages, and learn to compromise.

I wish that younger couples today would realize the same thing we did, that the world is not perfect, and no one's marriage is either. Once they realize that, then maybe there will be a new generation of old couples who still love each other after 50+ years...


  1. This is a lovely piece. I also have lots of good examples in my life and am on my first and presumably last marriage. But I've grown lazy and complacent in the relationship, allowing us to become little more than amicable roommates at times. Thank you for this inspiration! I needed a strong reminder of what's important.

  2. Wow. This is really powerful, Pat. I think you're right on, too. I think relationships are about give and take; but people seem to forget the give part.

    You are a really great writer, you know. I love your 'voice' and your use of language is first-rate. I'm really glad you decided to start blogging; the internet is a better place with you in it.

  3. Excellent write! I think in these times people don't want to know that some married couples stay together for a lifetime. They don't want to be reminded that it is possible to share someone's life through the good and the bad, for a be committed no matter what.