Tuesday, July 13, 2010

The meaning of life...

I know the past few posts have had funny moments, and I love sharing the stories of my road trip, but I have to put that on hold for this post. The guy I went on the road trip with, Chris, has been my best friend for almost 20 years. We have had our ups and downs, but through it all, we are ALWAYS there for each other. He was my friend support when my Grandparents started dying off, and I was his when his Grandparents started doing the same. But now I have to step up yet again, for reasons we all fear, and never want to have to go through... his mom is extremely ill. She has cancer, which for the moment she seems to have beaten. But the fight against the cancer has left her in a very beaten up shell of her former self. Her mind is still there, but her body is losing the fight. The fact that her mind is still there is a miracle in itself, as she had a stroke about two weeks ago, but recovered completely from it. I have known her forever, and to see her this way is scary. I have some funny memories of being at her house, spending time with her and Chris, spending time with their family, her cringing at the stories of our road trip, and all the times I have ever been with her or his family. But walking into that room, I am embarrassed to admit I didn't recognize her at all. But I made sure that she didn't know it. I went in and gave her a kiss, and made sure that she knew i was there to be a rock for her, just like I would expect Chris to do for my mom if she was in the same situation. It took her family a second to recognize me, but when they did, they were thrilled I was there. We never addressed the issue of why she was there, we never admitted that she was close to dying. We never admitted that this might be the last time I get to see her. Instead, we talked about my kids. We talked about the fact that she remembered Jackson's name during her stroke recovery, clear as a bell. I shared some stories of the boys growing up. I showed off some pictures of the boys, which they all adored (of course... lol). We all shared stories of Chris and my trip. We were all amazed that it was 10 years ago that we took the trip. But overall, it was the simple fact that we got her mind off the pain and problems, even just for a few minutes. This difference was the best thing I could do for her. I got a text from Chris later in the day thanking me for making his mom smile. In all the pain and issues she had that day, she also had a smile. And that smile made her day that much better! I was glad to make the bad things go away for even just a brief moment, and I knew she would enjoy the time I was there. If only it was visiting her at her house instead of a hospital... I can only imagine how hard it is on Chris. He saw his mom, his rock of support for his whole life so far, right after she had suffered a stroke. He saw the fear in her eyes as she was unable to talk or move her body like she wanted to. He was in the house with the Medic crew right behind him. He was there when she was unable to do anything. That image, of her panicked look, the fear in her eyes, still haunts him, even though she has recovered completely. I can only imagine how scared he must have been. But he is being strong for her, and won't let her see him cry. his girlfriend is amazing during all this, giving him the supportive shoulder he needs when he isn't near his mom. She is his shoulder to cry on. Thank God for her being there. I would be scared if he didn't have her through all this. Now it is my turn to try to help him as best I can. Hope I do it well...


  1. That is very touching and I am glad you can be there for him. I have a best friend like that. I wasn't able to be there when she lost her mom and I really wish I had been. Hang in there and thanks for sharing

  2. Speaking from experience, having your best friend there with you through losing, or almost losing, a parent is a comfort. Just being there for him does more than you could possibly know. I hope she can build her strength back up and recover from this *hugs*