tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8316170759325330245.post253120921002253424..comments2023-06-15T04:58:01.072-04:00Comments on FiremanPat: Part 3 of my story... Please tell me what you think so far!FiremanPathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14555642220023866974noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8316170759325330245.post-17399389075160543212011-02-11T23:16:29.097-05:002011-02-11T23:16:29.097-05:00This is a great story. You can really feel for the...This is a great story. You can really feel for the character. I think perhaps some more character development, perhaps more background on the firehouse he works shifts at would be good as well. there are some spelling errors, but it's minor. The story to me, seems to jump a bit. you wrote about how the main character had to help with his sister, but then left that portion of the story fall aside, leaving the reader to wonder what happened. <br /><br />Overall you've got a great start. I think if you could flesh out the story a bit more, add more detail it'd be even better than it is now.Celtic Butterflyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16380378844321792140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8316170759325330245.post-53175080558216274092011-02-11T22:14:28.998-05:002011-02-11T22:14:28.998-05:00I'm really enjoying this. The character makes...I'm really enjoying this. The character makes us want to share the ugly things he has seen, as if we can help lift his burden.Darla M Sandshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18212760625717298992noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8316170759325330245.post-73283549110400083352011-02-11T21:38:39.611-05:002011-02-11T21:38:39.611-05:00Very nice! Keep up the good work!Very nice! Keep up the good work!Rachelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09708268232861348307noreply@blogger.com